Wednesday, 19 October 2016
11 Signs You May Operate as a 'Hater'
I am deeply concerned that in the current tension of world events and election cycles, people do not know how to have relationship with each other. Our interactions seem to become more intense, very reactionary and without much self-control.
It's like we forgot how to talk with each other.
Actually, I'm not sure we ever learned how to communicate well in the first place. Have we become more conditioned to hating on each other or loving others in a genuine way?
The word hate or hater gets thrown around, but do we realize what hate is?
When Jesus used the word "hate," one of the definitions means to "love less." When you become a hater on someone, it's not just about doing something against them; hating can actually be when you do nothing at all. Hating can be actions that are bitter, but hate can also be when you do nothing, in a moment when love is desperately needed.
Every time we withdraw love in opportune moments, we align ourselves with the mindset of hate.
Will We Choose to Grow or Fall Back?
These days are pushing us to know how to love at a level we have never experienced. Our current interactions with each other are showing we have little idea how to do relationship. Leaving our hating ways doesn't mean that we do not speak the truth or stand for certain values, but how we use our words and treat others is critical.
Many are taking the backdoor out of relational growth, rather than pressing in to grow. Unfortunately, the internet and social media give room for cowardly activity, where we can slap someone, write something very careless or attack a person by communicating things we'd never have the guts to do if the person was in front of us.
10 Signs of Haters
Hating is never to be an option for the overcomer. Here are 10 signs you may operate as a hater:
1. Getting your point across is more important than anything. All you can see when you look at others is the areas where you disagree. Your focus in conversations with people is to make sure they know where you stand on certain subjects.
2. You are a terrible listener. I believe some of the biggest relational problems come down to not listening. We are not actively understanding what someone is saying or the reasons that are driving what they are saying.
3. You forget that people are actually real people. This is what happens in many comments on social media. At times, I have spoken to someone in person who acted rude online. Whenever I do this, I find they never talk the way they did online.
4. Being right is your highest aim. If this is your goal, you may feel good about how you stand for what is right, but very few will walk with you.
5. You have no problem communicating with dishonor. I am not sure that with everything Jesus and the apostles taught in Scripture, how we can feel its OK to attack a person with dishonor.
6. You focus on problems and criticism with no attention to real solutions. Pointing out problems is easy. It takes a stronger person to look for solutions. Christians can become known for what we are against, but not providing answers and solutions to people.
7. You take information out of context to make someone look bad. This is what the media does for a living. The problem is we feed on it to develop perceptions of others that are not really accurate. The world lives on sound bites and snippets that are designed to paint someone in a negative light. Don't be a part of that.
8. You have little intimate relationship with the person you are hating on. Sometimes I will come across someone who verbally attacks well-known public figures. As I listen to their words, they are talking about the public figures like they personally know their lives and motives. I ask them, "So do you personally know this person?" Rarely is the answer to that yes.
9. You focus on what you disagree with, not on common ground you can find. It takes seeing someone with compassion to even care about looking for common ground. If all you care about is being right, then finding common ground will not even be an option for you.
10. You don't check your own issues. What you criticize is often your own issue. We often criticize in others what we have going on in our own lives. When we feel tempted to throw stones, we must learn to check ourselves before acting.
11. You cut others off quickly rather than leaving room for healthy relationship to iron out. Relationships become a cheap commodity. As soon as someone has a different viewpoint, you shut down the possibility of connecting with them. This is often why we as Christians don't have the influence we could. We only hang out with people who agree with everything we believe; when, in reality, having conversations with others who don't have the same views can actually help us understand what's going on in the hearts of people and break us out of our rigid and unloving ways.
Which area can you address today to let love flow through you in greater power?