We have all had the painful experience of someone
wrongly judging us or not understanding us, and as a result, our
relationship with them suffers or is severed. Additionally, we all have
had the painful experience of thinking we knew someone and trusting
them, only to find—much to our misery—that they were not the person we
thought they were.
Jesus came to earth in large part for the
sake of relationship, but even devout religious leaders were foolish or
evil in dealing with Him. In John 7, they sought to kill Jesus rather
than have a relationship with Him because they wrongly judged Him. Jesus
then rebuked their poor relational wisdom, saying, "Look beneath the
surface so you can judge correctly" (v. 24, NLT).In relationships, we rely on predictable patterns of behavior when deciding who we trust and who we don't. This method causes problems because we judge by what we can see outwardly, and to truly know someone and judge correctly, Jesus said we must "look beneath the surface" of the person to their inner world that only the Spirit sees.
Following this statement, John 7 records that a great debate arose over whether Jesus was a good man or a bad man. Some said He was demon-possessed, others said He was Spirit-filled. Then we read, "Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, 'Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.' By this he meant the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were later to receive. Up to that time the Spirit had not been given, since Jesus had not been glorified" (vv. 37-39, NIV).
Jesus' point is simple: Without the Holy Spirit, it is impossible for any of us to know anyone else's true nature on the inside. But with the Spirit, we can look beneath the surface of what we see in the visible world (the clothes they wear, words they say or actions they choose) and see a person's true self in the invisible world (the state of their soul, condition of their heart and motive of their mind).
Jesus had wisdom for His relationships because the Holy Spirit helped Him look beneath the surface in order to judge people correctly. Isaiah 11:2 (MEV) promised this trait of Jesus, "The Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him, the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord."
To properly deal with people and have any healthy relationships, you must have the discerning wisdom of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit and wisdom are closely connected in the Bible because the Holy Spirit is the source of wisdom. Job 32:8 (ESV) links the Spirit to discerning wisdom, saying, "But it is the spirit in man, the breath of the Almighty that makes him understand." In Ephesians 1:17 (MEV), Paul prays that believers receive "the Spirit of wisdom."
The Spirit of God knows people better than anyone, and He will help you have healthy relationships. God wants you to be wise and seek wisdom so you can know how to handle foolish and evil people.
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