A recent survey asked a straightforward question: which is worse, to
watch porn or to fail to recycle? The results are in: “Half of teenagers
and nearly three-quarters of young adults come across pornography at
least monthly, and both groups on average consider viewing pornographic
images less immoral than failing to recycle.”
This is one of those “stunning but not surprising” findings that
reflect the current mindset of our culture. And it’s a very important
mindset to understand.
For quite some time, the dominant ethic has been, “As long as it
makes you happy, and doesn’t hurt anyone, it’s okay.” The idea is that
personal choice, in light of the pursuit of happiness, and the autonomy
that comes with it, reigns supreme. Its only check is when it might
infringe on another person’s personal choice and autonomy. The argument
seems to be that porn is a personal choice for sexual gratification and,
therefore, doesn’t hurt anyone.
Of course, asking people whether porn is bad at this point is a bit
like asking whether to shut the door after the cow has left the barn.
We
live in a world where the choice to embrace porn has, quite simply,
been made. Seventy percent of all 18 to 34-year-olds are regular
viewers. The average age to begin viewing? Eleven. It’s so ubiquitous
it’s been called the “wallpaper” of our lives. In 2014, one porn site
alone had more than 15.35 billion visits. No, that was not a typo.
That’s “billion” with a “b.” To put that into perspective, at the end of
2015, the entire population of the world was just over 7 billion.
And suffice it to be said, it does enormous harm. Not simply with its
ties to such things as human trafficking, but also to the person who
partakes. In her book Pornified, Pamela Paul argues that it is
far from an innocuous choice; it has changed our marriages and families
as well as our children’s understanding of sex and sexuality.
Rob, who insists that his girlfriend look and behave, in bed and out,
like a porn star; Charlie, who spends hours cruising porn sites and
setting up meetings with women and couples he befriends in chat rooms,
while telling his wife that he’s just working late on the computer;
Jonah, a fan of violent hardcore porn, who introduces tamer porn to his
fiancée in an effort to revive their troubled sex life; Abby, who
discovers her husband’s hidden box of CDs of child porn images
downloaded from the internet; preteen girls who start their own
pornography websites; teenage boys, mimicking porn, who videotape
themselves having sex with an apparently unconscious girl.
Yet the prevailing ethic of our day is that anything that would
critique or limit someone’s choice for personal pleasure, and the
autonomy that comes with it, is bad. Anything that would enable or
affirm someone’s choice for personal pleasure, and the autonomy that
comes with it, is good.
And we find our sense of morality not by actually being moral, but
through pseudo-virtues like recycling, which, while commendable, belong
in the same meritorious camp as “clicktivism.”
It seems we need to learn how to separate more than just our trash.
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