I was raised in a conservative Christian home, attending
church every time the doors opened. A people-pleaser from birth, I
especially wanted to please my parents.
Once I started
dating, though, my rebellious nature set in. I wanted to be in control; I
knew better than anyone what was right for me. It was all about me, and
I would make my own choices.
In 1973 I was young, still
very naïve, and fell head-over-heels with the first guy who paid
attention to me. One thing led to another and ... an unplanned
pregnancy. I was terrified and didn't know who to turn to or where to
go.
Because I couldn't tell my parents or friends, I
turned to someone I worked with for advice, one I'd only known a short
time. "Just have an abortion, it's legal now and it's no big deal," she
said. So I did just that.
I chose to have an abortion, went alone to the Planned Parenthood clinic ...
and no one other than my co-worker ever knew. I went through the front
door, paid for services in cash and was ushered out the back door.
That
day in June was the last day I cried or laughed for years. There were
two deaths that day—my baby's and mine. But abortion changed me. First,
it changed my behavior, lowering my self-esteem. I stopped looking
people in the eye, as I became more and more angry. Every relationship
seemed to be affected.
I became pro-abortion overnight,
because I wanted to justify my actions. I fell for the pro-choice lines,
"Your body, your choice," "It's just a bunch of cells," "It's better to
abort than to raise a child that's unwanted," and the most common of
all — "It's legal, therefore abortion is OK."
My life
was a roller coaster for years with a rocky marriage, divorce and death
of a brother. The bright spot in all of it, though, was the birth of my
son. I had something to live for and someone to strive to be better for.
It was then I realized how much of a blessing children are.
Despite that bright spot in my life, for almost two decades
I defended abortion on demand while never admitting I had had an
abortion myself. I relied on those pro-choice lines to help me sleep at
night.
By the early 1990's, though, there was more and
more talk about fetal development. Sonogram technology had developed so
one could see what those "cells" really looked like in the womb. I
began having flashbacks and nightmares. I would cringe at the sound of a
vacuum cleaner. I began questioning what I had been told back in 1973.
Whose truth was I relying on?
God had been working in my
life through the years, never leaving my side, always drawing me closer
and closer to the Truth—until I reached the point I could no longer
carry the weight of my secret abortion any longer.
One
Sunday evening I surrendered everything—the good, bad and ugly—to Jesus
Christ. Doors opened for post-abortion healing. Miracles began
happening. God's Truth set me free from the guilt, shame, and secrecy of
abortion. I knew I was forgiven and I had a relationship with the
Creator of all life.
As I shared my testimony of my
freedom from the bondage of abortion, miracles happened in me and in
others. I heard about the pro-life movement and got involved. Every time
I share what God did for me, I receive healing and power ... and those
that hear the message receive hope and encouragement. The same can
happen for you.
I am no longer pro-choice or
pro-abortion, because God's Truth found me. I am 100 percent,
unashamedly pro-life because I know when life begins. As this new year
begins, whose truth are you relying on? Join me in taking a stand for
life.
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